I have been steadily editing my music video and have come to this rough cut. I have only got 5 seconds to add footage to and then all of my clips will be inserted into the video. There is a few more thins that I need to tweak, such as the typography and the filtering that I want to add to a selection of shots, to allow a difference in appearance for the narrative parts from the performance parts. There is also some shots that I want to shorten or cut out and the editing to the beat at the beginning needs to be tightened. Then i should be finished, after half term, i will focus on getting this finished as soon as possible as it should not take much time now to finalise.
Chemicals-Rough cut 2 from Charlotte Greaves on Vimeo.
This is better than the original cut, but I think you need to be a little tighter with the editing (I know it's a pain... it just takes time).
ReplyDeleteMain thing is the narrative - the story-telling seems a little too random to me. It needs to more clearly track the development of the relationship and its break-up; we need to see a more obvious sense of the climax if the end is going to have the impact you want. This might mean re-ordering some footage and shooting/ reshooting some. A few examples below:
1. The shot at the beginning appears to have some significance, but the ornament never appears again. What's that about?
2. The timing is still off at the beginning; I thought we'd sorted that? The first cut to the band is off-beat, for example.
3. I may have offered you some duff advice about the pace of the editing in that opening section; it's a little too fast at times. I think we need to clarify the beginning of the relationship a little more clearly than happens here.
4. The shot of you brushing your teeth has some weird interference
5. Some of the band miming in that opening section is a little ropey
6. Don't forget to flip the shot of you on the phone so that you're facing the other way
7. At 00:35, before the full band shot when he sings "ooo-ooo-ooh", do you have another shot you could cut to? The band is possibly held too long - you maybe need something before the LS? I could be over-thinking it - watched it back again and thought it was okay...
8. The shots of you at 00:57, 01:00 and 01:02 are out of focus - you should reshoot them
9. The editing of the drum break at about 01:05 looks a little odd - maybe this needs to be tightened up (was there any reason why Sam wasn't actually hitting the drums...?)
10. The shots of the TV at 01:24 aren't brilliantly framed; you might want to reshoot these
11. I think the main issue is the bridge, where you do the break-up: this seems to happen a little suddenly; we could do with a sense of why they fall out (see the middle of this video for some ideas - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IPqMpm5Eq8)
12. You could possibly add to the narrative at the "Universe" line, rather than going with the text for this bit?
13. I think you should hold a little more on the shots of your character being upset, maybe just for an extra beat or two
14. Much as I like the shot of you throwing yourself at the bloke, it doesn't seem to fit in here - the pace of the song/ editing doesn't really sustain flashing back. You should use that shot earlier
15. The black 5s section should be used to fill in the blanks of how they both feel after the breakup - a few shots of them on their own and miserable - maybe her watching TV alone and him throwing his guitar down or something?
16. The new text does not seem to be quite centred; make sure you check both the horizontal and the vertical positioning
In general, then, this is better; there just needs to be a clearer sense of organisation of the narrative structure, a few pick-ups to shoot and some of the editing to tighten. At the moment I would say that this is upper L3 (about 28/40) but with some judicious work it could probably move into L4.